You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize