the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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