I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
