STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
is wine microwaveable?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
