I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
we're so committed to being not committed
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
