I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
