Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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