Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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