I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
