Christians are straight up FREAKS
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
