please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
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