Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
