Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Rumble strips road head = magical
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize