hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
