He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
