that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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