Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
