Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
