Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I'm passing your future prison.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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