You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Can vaginas get frostbite?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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