he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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