is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
