normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Someone signed my nipple.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
