He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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