why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize