we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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