I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
