I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
