god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
