he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
