I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
