Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
