so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize