i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i think my tv is drunk
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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