I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
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