there was a trapeze. enough said
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
