I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
