Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
