I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
babies were throwing up all over the place
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
