Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize