there's paper in my vomit.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
