so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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