bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
