Have you finally orgasmed yet?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
