***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
