We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
