yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
