Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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