Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
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