We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
