TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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