did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
