I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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