Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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