um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
