You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
This can only be settled by a dance off.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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