If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
well, you know. whores of a feather.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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