Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Randomize
