I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
